Procrastinated Wishes

I’m terrible when it comes to dreaming and wishing. So much so that when it comes to submerging myself into my ideal make-believe life I feel disappointed in myself for delaying the action of putting into place my secret wishes and dreams. I’m not exactly sure of what the reason is why I procrastinate however I believe that much of it is to do with my self-confidence. I've never been confident in my abilities as a person; I've always thought less of myself and, when put in the situation of being able to actually go through with my life wishes, have had shyness hit me like a brick. I’m the type of person that cares what others think and will not go through with anything if I think that other people won’t approve and they will mock me for even trying. Even when I tell myself: ‘they are just strangers who don’t know you – in fact they probably don’t care’ I still get nervous and put off doing what I was going to do. The people in my family? I care what they think of me. The people I go to college with? I care what they think of me. Sometimes I want to get myself known and sometimes I’m quite happy watching life go by in the background. I really hate myself for being this way. I've had many wished that I have had to let go of and I still have many wishes that I want to fulfill; such as starting a YouTube channel, signing myself up for acting classes and even things as simple as meeting new people.

In fact, even creating this blog to use as an outlet for my thoughts so my head doesn't explode is one of my secret dreams that I procrastinated over for the last 3 years…yep 3 whole years! 

I may appear to be a shy person who doesn't want any limelight on the outside but once you get to know me well enough I turn into a crazy, weird girl who will always try to make you laugh c:

So, I feel that is enough for a first post. I thank you all for reading and I hope that we can become better friends over time  :)